What the Hell is going on at the Korea Times?

Yep, the hardworking folks over at the Korea Times, that supposedly real (just ask them) national newspaper, have done it again! Actually, to be more accurate, this one came first. In January 2012 the English/Korean-language online edition of the unintentionally hilarious rag, using The Weekly World News as it’s source, warned of the arrival of the aliens from the Planet Gootan, scheduled to arrive in November (any day now then).

 

 

Here are a couple of choice cuts from the article:

“Three giant spaceships are heading toward Earth. The largest one of them is 200 miles wide. Two others are slightly smaller. At present, the objects are just moving past Jupiter. Judging by their speed, they should be on Earth by the fall of 2012,” said John Malley, the lead extraterrestrial expert at SETI.Three similar giant ships landed in China and the Indonesia Sea in November 2011. They were identified as alien spaceships from Planet Gootan.

Curiously enough, upon receiving this news the nation collectively failed to panic, stockpile weapons, or indeed do anything at all. It is not known whether the Koreans’ apparent apathy regarding the impending alien invasion was a result of their fearless, resilient spirit, the possibility that they were all too busy hiking or taking photos of themselves to notice this most historic reportage, or the slightly more probable eventuality that, well… ok, I got nothin’.

How this ridiculous shit keeps being allowed to happen is a complete mystery. For a start, there are native speakers of English on staff at the KT. I know one or two, and they may not be struggling under the weight of their Pulitzers, but hey… (here at Peninsularity Ensues, our literary trophy cabinet is also not exactly crowded for space – we’re not here to judge… wait…)

Secondly, after the English version was allowed through the system, some diligent employee went ahead and translated the entire piece into Korean, somehow without questioning the fact that the entire idea of this invasion (let alone the style in which it was written and the fact that the rest of the world’s news agencies weren’t interested in running the story) was completely stupid.

Whilst this writer has been assured that Koreans do in fact understand the concept of satire, theirs is apparently a different, more subtle style. What is most wonderful about this whole thing is the fact that ten full months after this story was run, and subsequently ridiculed by pretty much everyone, the fantastic piece of journalism is still online. You can read it here.

The KT’s latest masterpiece is of course the recent announcement that North Korea’s Kim Jong Un has been named “Sexiest Man Alive“, as quoted by The Onion.

 

 

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