More Brilliance from the Korea Times

And in today’s WTF reportage…

The internationally acclaimed Korea Times has once again raised the bar for journalists everywhere in a stunning new report that may be of serious concern to an increasing demographic of the Korean population, and God-knows-how-many aging sex tourists scattered throughout South-east Asia.

The headline:

Too much sex not good for the old

Nobody told these sick old perverts.

The first almost-sentence of the short article warns that:

“With the proportion of citizens aged 65 and older having reached 11.8 percent and rising and this figure is expected to reach 37.4 percent by 2050”.

Then (on what is clearly not a slow news day on the peninsula) it is revealed, perhaps for the first time ever, that healthcare for the aging population may become an issue important enough to discuss more than it is being discussed now.

The newspaper has thankfully released “findings”, informing the nation’s senior citizens (and suddenly grossed-out teenagers previously unaware that humans over 40 have sex) “…that excessive sexual activities among the old is detrimental to their health and using medication to help vitalise such activities is even more dangerous”.

In a groundbreaking first for the Korea Times, a source has been provided for these new “findings”. The source, as you may have already guessed, is the “Dongueibogam”, the ancient Korean medical bible that states, according to the KT, “…the dissipation of any form of liquid from the body is bad for the health and this also applies to sperm”.

So be warned, my health-conscious friends. Don’t go to the bathroom anymore.

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Quick update: I’ve just learned from a friend (perhaps now former friend) who works for the Korea Times that previous stories I’ve mentioned, such as the Alien invasion from Planet Gootan, Kim Jong-un being named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ (by the Onion), and this particular piece, are only online. They do not appear in the print editions and at least one KT staff member is as surprised as anyone else when these stories appear.

 

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2 Comments on "More Brilliance from the Korea Times"

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David
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David
4 years 6 months ago

Not a former friend PE, Of course not!

logan
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logan
4 years 6 months ago

if “…the dissipation of any form of liquid from the body is bad for the health and this also applies to sperm” then why all the loogie hocking???

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