Having spent seven years previously in South Korea, the Korea Times remains one of my guilty staples. It frequently fails to distinguish reality from the wonderfully random crap that so often graces its venerable digital pages. Personally I can’t get enough of the K-pop fawning, reportage sourced directly from The Onion, or other nonsense accompanied by photos of sci-fi film posters. I thought they had thoroughly scaled and mapped the depths but, well… the guys and gals at the KT somehow keep managing to lower the bar.
I understand the clickbait appeal. It drives traffic, and media outlets are under ever-increasing pressure to out-click the competition. Such is the world we now inhabit. We no longer pay for the “news” we consume, so it should be little wonder that the quality of this “news” is degenerating daily into more fetid masses of steaming shit.
It’s not just the Korea Times. It’s everywhere. Even this little site of mine is not immune.
I once wrote a serious piece about Australian fear-based, self-serving political propaganda. I researched the piece for a week, and was pleased to receive some praise for that post. It has now been read 2,200 times.
Another post I wrote in fifteen minutes (sometimes these things just phone themselves in) about Kim Kardashian being reportedly offered one million dollars to “party” for a night with a Saudi Prince was viewed 30,000 times almost immediately.
Such is life.
So… here, verbatim is the transcript of one of my favourite Korea Times articles, which after almost four years, is still online…
Woman gets Totally Hot by Sickest Car Woofer Stereo
A woman almost came to peeing her panties out of orgasm by listening to probably the sickest woofer car stereo.
In this YouTube video, a woman sits in a car while a man next to her introduces her sonic blast that will blow her away with woofer bass volume strong enough to vibrate air inside the car, causing her totally “feeling” it as if having sex.
As the woman first listens to Italian pianist and composer Ludovico Einaudi’s piano music titled Nuvole Bianche, the man dashes at her by cranking up bass control. The bass volume is so loud her hair starts to fling all over, while the listener going nuts fights to calm herself.
After her first trial that went on for few seconds, the woman, half-mesmerized, says, “I think I just came in my panties.”
She gladly agrees to the man’s offer for second trial and, after enjoying it, says, “I love it,” clearly knocked out by the sexual satisfaction that came unexpectedly.
Seriously, what the fuck was that? The writing alone is fucking dreadful, and it obviously wasn’t “news”, but it wasn’t even a lazy product placement. They didn’t even bother to name the brand of the “probably sickest car woofer stereo”.
By the way, there is no need to point out that I myself have again willingly swan-dived into the steaming shitpile of clickbait “journalism”. The irony is not lost. Hey, if you cant beat ’em…