Woman gets Totally Hot by Sickest Car Woofer Stereo: The Korea Times

This woman may or may not know she has made headlines in a national newspaper. photo: Korea Times

The Korea Times is famed the world over as an apparently genuine newspaper that frequently fails to distinguish reality (let alone news) from the wonderfully random crap that so often graces its venerable pages. Personally I can’t get enough of the K-pop fawning, reportage sourced from The Onion, or other relevant news accompanied by sci-fi film posters. I thought they had thoroughly scaled and mapped the depths but yet again I’ve underestimated the Korea Times. With this recent piece of… well, I’m not quite sure what this is, the guys and gals at the KT have somehow managed to lower the bar yet again.

Quick question folks… what the hell is this? I mean, I really don’t know. I thought it was worth sharing though, because it’s ridiculous even by KT’s stringent standards of mandatory ridiculousness, and I’m completely baffled by it.

This woman may or may not know she has made headlines in a national newspaper.  photo: Korea Times
This woman may or may not know she has made headlines in a national newspaper.
photo: Korea Times.

The piece appeared in the ‘World News’ section of the KT last week. Here it is verbatim (for you guys who never click on the links).

Woman gets Totally Hot by Sickest Car Woofer Stereo

A woman almost came to peeing her panties out of orgasm by listening to probably the sickest woofer car stereo.

In a recent YouTube video posted on Tuesday, a woman sits in a car while a man next to her introduces her sonic blast that will blow her away with woofer bass volume strong enough to vibrate air inside the car, causing her totally “feeling” it as if having
sex.

As the woman first listens to Italian pianist and composer Ludovico Einaudi’s piano music titled Nuvole Bianche, the man dashes at her by cranking up bass control. The bass volume is so loud her hair starts to fling all over, while the listener going nuts fights to calm herself.

After her first trial that went on for few seconds, the woman, half-mesmerized, says, “I think I just came in my panties.”

She gladly agrees to the man’s offer for second trial and, after enjoying it, says, “I love it,” clearly knocked out by the sexual satisfaction that came unexpectedly.

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Seriously, what the fuck was that? It clearly isn’t news – that’s obvious enough. It isn’t an op-ed – no opinion is given on anything. It isn’t even a really bad product placement – the name of the ‘probably the sickest woofer car stereo’ isn’t mentioned at all! It all looks terribly fake in addition to being pointless, so…

Which of the KT reporters thought, “Yep, this looks newsworthy” and which of the editors agreed? And why does this sort of thing happen so often over there? If anyone knows the answers to any of these questions (or the source of whatever drugs these people are on) please let me know. Cheers.

*Thanks to my friend Jesse Cull for leading me to this KT gem.

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3 Comments on "Woman gets Totally Hot by Sickest Car Woofer Stereo: The Korea Times"

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Billy
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Billy
3 years 8 months ago

Obviously, the reporters and editors felt that English readers in Korea need to know what gets the ladies to orgasm in the fastest way possible by using the most money and least physical effort.

Thomas
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Thomas
3 years 8 months ago

You are surprised? Running a pic of cute girl with “o face” increases clickthrough rates by hundreds of percent.

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[…] so this Korea Times headline isn’t as good as last week’s ‘Woman gets totally hot by sickest car woofer stereo‘, but then again, it’ll be a long time before I see a better ‘World News’ […]

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