Lately I’ve been in contact with a number of highly dodgy people who have collectively promised me (among other things) many millions of dollars, marriage and all kinds of unspeakable physical pleasures. I’m lucky that way… I have email.
This particular individual from Mali approached me this week with a marvelous business opportunity (the gold dealer is in red)…
Hi, how are you?
I’m good and you?
Good thanks. What do you do there in Mali?
I am into business
I’m a teacher. What kind of business do you do?
Gold and cotton business
That sounds like a good business. You are doing well?
Cool, that’s good to hear.
You like that?
Of course. It is good to meet successful people.
Yes my dear. Are you interested?
Interested? How do you mean?
I mean if you want to be my partner
Yes. Are you? Tell me.
Sure! I don’t know anything about your business though. Sorry, I’m not much of an expert on gold or cotton.
I can put you through and then you become more wealthy
Wow, that sounds good!
Yes you like it.
So where do you want us to start from. Tell me, I want to help you
Sure. I’d love if you could help me! I’ve thought about business opportunities for a while now, and this seems like a smart and sound investment. Can you help me?
Yes I can and I know this will be a very big opportunity for you. That is if you really serious because I am a very serious business woman.
Wow, this is great! I understand that you are serious in your business.
Do you have some details for me?
How many kilos do you want us to start with?
Kilos? Gold or cotton? lol…I don’t have much capital to be dealing in kilos of gold… yet.
Don’t be shy my dear. Tell me which your capital can cover
Hmmm… how many ounces in a kilo?
1kg is 26,000 us dollars. 1grm is 2,600 us dollars
Ok, that sounds reasonable.
How many can you start with?
So… one kilo is 2,600,000 dollars. Wow, that’s a lot!! …but a kilo is a lot, because gold is very heavy I believe.
1kg is 26,000 dollars. 1grm is 260 dollars
Ah, I see. Wow, that’s a lot cheaper.
Yes. Just doing it to help you my dear.
You are most welcome. So how many do you want us to start with?
Well… I only have enough funds for about 2 kilos. How do we make money with the gold?
Now that you have money for 2kg very good. Then before the gold leaves the country you pay for the government export taxes to achieve all the document for the exportation from the government.
Ok… how much does that cost?
I see… who do I pay that fee to?
To the government
Ok… how do I do that?
Ok lets do it like this. Send the money of the 2kgs and I will pay for the government export taxes
Really? You will pay the tax? That’s great! Who will I send the money for the gold to? To your business?
Yes I will. I am doing it because I feel you need it to help you. Yes, to my business
Thank you! Ok, which business is it?
Because I will use the money to buy the gold.
Ok. Then what will happen?
I send the gold through a shipper agent to your destination
Ok. So, what do we do?
Get yourself prepared and I will tell you how to send the money down here.
Will it take long? I can be prepared soon.
Give me your email to enable me forward all the exportation document to you
Ok, no problem.
If you are fast we can do the exportation this week
Wow, that fast? Great! My email is
Yes I told you I am very serious and hardworking with my business
Thanks, this is wonderful. I really appreciate it.
You are welcome. Check your mail now. Do you have western union or money gram over there? Give me your phone number. Mine is +22363686839 You can call or sms me
Thanks! Yes, we have Western Union here.
Good I want the shipment to take place this week
I bet! I will go now and check my email.
Wow, that’s great, thanks… and informative!
I will be going to the government taxes as soon as I go offline now to make arrangement down for you. If you need any info just sms me on my phone number. Give me your phone number
Oh sure, sorry… It’s 00612-630-******
Ok am calling you now. It show network busy please do try to reach me. Take good care of yourself and good luck.
(3 days ago)
How are you doing, I called your number but it shows network bust all through.
Check your email
Thanks, I checked my email. The gold looks great! Sorry about the number… not really sure what happened there (wait, yes I am). Do you mind if I ask… why do you need my number? Oh, and why don’t you have a business name, or business email, or… well, I’ve got a whole lot of questions to ask you, since you don’t appear to have any kind of business at all. Let me know, when you get a chance.
(2 days ago)
How are you doing? The reason why I need your number is for me to communicate with you. The name of our company is Association of Kelkoro Village Local Miners. I am waiting for your questions feel free to ask anything
Thanks Rebecca. Well, apart from the fact that you don’t have a business email, or any official presence online aside from a Linkedin account, I’m just wondering how prudent it is to send $52,000 to Mali, to a person who looks for business clients on an infamous dating website known for its huge number of fake profiles and embarrassingly low quality scammers… just sayin’. Do you have anything there at your end that might make your operation appear just a little bit credible?
Look here Mr Douglas, at first when we got talking we introduce ourselves to each other right. I don’t force someone into buying my goods because there are a lot of my business partners who need golds worth 50kg and even diamonds, so I see no reason why you that need 2kg will be insulting me. I am not forcing you my dear. Like I told you earlier none of my business partners have ever complained about my delivery to them ok. If you are not serious let me know. I am a serious business woman and I don’t joke with my business. First you gave me wrong telephone number, do you think I have time for play?Here is the information of the company.
Company name: KEKORO SARL. Email: Kekorosarl@gmail.com Tel+223 67046661
Check and ask any question. I will answer you, I am not angry with you. In business you search for buyers for your product and even you want to speak with director of my company you can make every enquiries.
Sorry if I have wasted your time.. I understand that you are serious, and given that you have several buyers requiring 50kg of your gold, it is indeed probably not worth your time dealing with small-timers like me who are only in the market for a piddling 2000 grams. Thank you for your information… after considering calling Mr Keita, the apparent president of your company, who also has no official online presence, except a Linkedin account with two contacts, I figured that your company would not be interested in wasting its time doing such a small contract as that which we discussed.
It does appear that your company has a small image problem though, in that it does not appear to exist in any official capacity whatsoever. I would be happy to rectify that for you. I will give you one year of my time, to help you register an actual company, and provide consultancy on developing internal infrastructure and building relationships with international clientele. For this, I am prepared to join you and your colleagues in Mali, for a one-off up front payment of USD$250,000, to be paid in my name to the bank of my choosing. This will be a mutually beneficial business arrangement, as the money I charge for my services is very small compared to your current 50kg gold deals, and the tremendous losses you are making.
For example, you misquoted the price of gold, twice, then offered to sell me US$93,052 worth of gold (at current market rates) for US$52,000, plus pay a seven percent commission. The loss you would have made on this single deal (US$47,565) is equivalent to 31 years of wages for the average worker in your country. It’s a good thing that you and your gold are fake. You really suck at this.
(1 day ago)
Please tell me that you are serious about my offer to help. You need it. This will be a very good business opportunity for you.
Oh, by the way, it may be not be much, but you do at least have an online presence now (aside from your Tagged profile, that is). Cheers 🙂
For some reason, Rebecca the serious business woman has not responded.