Many people (including Koreans) may be surprised to learn that South Korea is one of the most densely populated countries on Earth. Actually, discounting territories (like Aruba), city states (like Singapore) and weird random micro-nations (like San Marino), South Korea, home to 503 people per square kilometer, comes second overall on the population density list after Bangladesh. To put this in perspective, the relatively sparsely populated nations of India and China house a mere 383 and 141 people per square kilometer respectively.
Oddly enough, South Korea also has one of the lowest birth rates in the universe; a social demographic discussed ad nauseam in the local press. Another Korean population trend of concern involves the internal migration of increasing numbers of young adults, from the rural farming villages to Seoul and other, lesser cities.
Well, it appears that after many years of fruitless national debate, the National Agricultural Cooperative Federation (NACF), and its cultural arm (better known as Nonghyup) have devised a single, ingeniously simple program that may alleviate all of these concerns in one fell swoop.
‘However, the free surgery will include breast implants and cosmetic procedures for the eyes, nose and facial structures,’ the KT continued.
Theline Clinic will provide its services freely to five rural seniors each month.
Speaking from Apgujeong, Seoul, Ms Kim of the Peninsularity International Scientific Society for Technology And Korean Enterprise (PISSTAKE), explained how this groundbreaking initiative will be beneficial to all Koreans.
‘Well, it’s quite simple really. All Koreans understand that there are only two important things in life – being pretty and being rich. Clearly we can see an exodus of young people from the rural villages to the city, where there are jobs and lots of glamorous people. I mean, lets face it. Have you seen some of these farmers? They’re pretty goddamn fugly. I wouldn’t want to live near them… would you? Theline Clinic has generously donated its time and resources to change all that though. When young rural people see all the sexy farmers in the fields, they will be more inclined to stay in those areas. The rural economy will be reinvigorated. All the attractive farmers will make the rural communities more horny in general. People will start having babies again… and the overpopulation issues facing Seoul will also be alleviated’.
‘It’s a win-win!’ concluded Ms Kim.
In related news, research is already underway to determine whether elderly Korean men (who do quite a bit of the actual farming) will benefit suitably by receiving breast implants, or whether radical new penile enlargement technology might better assist them to plough their fields.
More to come.