Just a few weeks ago, hundreds of millions of people were super-excited about the new and improved rights of gay couples, as decided by a Supreme Court panel in what, for 95 percent of people is a foreign country. Nonetheless, everyone was thrilled on behalf of all gay Americans. I’d never realised before just how strongly the world feels about American gay rights!
Support for the legislation of gay marriage rights in the United States swept through Facebook in a tsunami of ready-made, rainbow-filtered profile photos which took zero effort to implement, and showed everyone that we too were totally up with this totally popular cause. Overnight, there was Pride Terminator, little Pride Babies, Pride Pretty-Much-Everything-Imaginable.
In just a couple of days, it became clear that not having a rainbow-photo meant being a callous homophobic bastard.
Then, a week or so later, just as quickly as it began, it was over. The battle has been won. The people have spoken, and the lives of gay Americans have forever been changed for the better.
This can only be a good thing.
Does anyone remember a very serious disease called ALS? A progressive and deadly neurodegenerative disorder that affected two in every 100,000 Americans, this terrifying acronym (I never actually did find out what ALS stood for) has been cured; wiped from the Earth by the power of 2014’s greatest global social-media phenomenon.
Proof of the global eradication of ALS has been amply demonstrated by the lack of Hollywood celebrities and reality television stars filming themselves dumping buckets of ice water over their heads these days. Thanks to social networking, celebrities and science, we no longer need worry about this once terrifying affliction.
Of course, even in this wondrous new age where the power of millions of people filming themselves doing something random and ridiculous can change the world for good, there will always be those few who remain sceptical, or even cynical! It didn’t take long for example for claims to emerge that the whole rainbow-filter-gay-pride-facebook-photo thing was actually a social experiment conducted by Facebook itself.
I mean… surely the genius trillionaire Facebook co-founder and Time Magazine’s 2010 Person of The Year has better things to do than continually reassess and refine the level of control he has over the online behaviour of his billion-strong flock. Why would Facebook be interested in doing that?
In this glorious age of total connectivity we must remain vigilant however. Only when we stand together, united as one, will we win our greatest battle and finally defeat the scourge of global terrorism. When you are called upon to do your part – to gallantly upload video of yourself pissing on live electrical wires in the name of world peace… will you answer the call?
Only together can we change the world.