So, I had a White People’s Problem in Africa

I finally stepped out of the airport, breathed the fresh air and looked up at big, blue African skies. Three seconds later I lowered my gaze and was surrounded. This wasn’t unexpected because I’m a very charming man apparently, and people are naturally drawn to charming men such as myself, usually outside airports for some reason. Small children, teenagers, grandmothers, taxi drivers… competing for my attention, offering to shine my sneakers, sell me sunglasses, or to be my personal guide and helpfully keep all those annoying shoeshines, street-hawkers and other personal guides at bay.

This isn't actually me (photo for illustrative and satirical purposes only) Photo: Catholicnewsagency.com
This is actually some other guy (photo for illustrative purposes)
Photo: Catholicnewsagency.com

That wasn’t the white person’s problem of which I speak however.

I was about to be ripped off, again, which for some reason continues to annoy me. This wasn’t the problem either though. I decided to have a nice cup of coffee first (Ethiopian coffee is very, very good). I declined a dozen rather insistent offers to carry my bag to the coffee shop, twenty feet away.

It is a statistical fact I just made up, that airport taxi drivers are the worst people in the world. Strengthened by caffeine I stood up, braced myself and cheerfully settled into a fifteen-minute argument with four guys at once, eventually securing a shared taxi for the three kilometer drive, for less than an average local weekly wage.

That wasn’t the problem either though. That’s just airport taxi drivers.

I checked into the hotel, having navigated the visible security presence and airport metal detectors and x-ray machines. Apparently this wasn’t the swankiest neighbourhood in town… then took a stroll along Addis Ababa’s famous Bole Road. Immediately people began asking me for money. Some offered goods and services I didn’t want, in exchange for that money. A confident tyke of about twelve swaggered up and tried his best to sell me a cheap belt, before warning me that this wasn’t the swankiest neighbourhood in town, and to be mindful of all the people on the street… except himself of course. Finally concluding he wouldn’t be making a sale he smiled broadly and wished me luck, which, as a white man in this neighbourhood, he seemed to think I might need.

None of this was really a problem though, and the neighbourhood didn’t really look that rough.

Hotel Security, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Hotel Security, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

I concluded that the hotel’s metal detectors, x-ray machines and imposing yet good-natured security presence were mostly for show, to give nervous western tourists an illusion of security and safety they didn’t actually need, considering some of the less visible exterior walls had no need of security, as evidenced by the fact that the walls themselves were somewhat absent.

Fresh air and a view. Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Fresh air and a view.
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

The next morning I set off early. I walked randomly through the city, taking photos and politely but steadfastly refusing to buy sunglasses, sim cards, or to have my shoes shined. The market and street traders were quite persistent, though I found them to have a softer edge than in other places such as Morocco or Turkey, where the souq workers and street traders are often not so much persistent as downright aggressive. I quickly discovered that the Ethiopians are a very proud people, and simply acknowledging the traders with a smile and polite ‘no thank you’ generally resulted in an easy smile in return, and that was that (try that tactic in Marrakesh…).

It was a beautiful day for a walk. I remembered the words of one of my colleagues when I told him I was going to Ethiopia for my vacation. He had asked why I would leave one dusty barren desert to go and spend time in another. One problem with stereotypes is that they are often terribly outdated. The Ethiopian capital is rather greener than I had imagined.

Suburban Addis Ababa, 2015. Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Suburban Addis Ababa, 2015.
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

In the dusty streets I did see grinding poverty. The dust itself wasn’t the same as I remember seeing on TV a generation ago though, swirling around desperate starving children. The dust in the streets of Addis Ababa today is largely concrete dust from the never-ending construction projects.

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Bole, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

I walked and walked. One enterprising local entrepreneur sidled up and asked if I needed any help. I said I was fine. He asked if I needed a girl. I said I was fine. He asked if I needed a boy. I said I was fine (this is all pretty standard). He asked me if I needed any weed… and my slightest pause here was enough to have his company for the next ten blocks. We saw churches, shopping malls and one very welcoming-looking North Korean embassy.

Medhane Alem Church, Addis Ababa Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Medhane Alem Church, Addis Ababa
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
North Korean embassy, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
North Korean embassy, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

Everywhere people wanted money, which isn’t unusual. They assumed that, as a white man I was obviously insanely wealthy, which comparatively speaking I am. Ethiopia has been one of the world’s fastest growing economies in recent years, which speaks volumes about the challenges facing Africa. As in so many cities around the world, abject poverty in Addis Ababa is undeniable, but the horrific Ethiopian famine of 30 years ago was, well… 30 years ago.

Ethiopia, 1985
Ethiopia, 1985
Also Ethiopia, 2015 Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Also Ethiopia, 2015
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

Walking back to the hotel in the evening light, I felt that something wasn’t quite right. The pedometer on my phone said I’d walked about 16 kilometres, and my feet were a bit sore. The street people outside my hotel were waiting to try again to sell me crap I didn’t want. These things weren’t the problem of which I speak though.

Something just didn’t feel right… and walking into the hotel I suddenly realised what it was. As it happens, I live in one of the hottest countries on Earth. So, it was great to walk around in sunny Addis Ababa, where, at 3,000 meters above sea level, the weather was lovely. It hadn’t occurred to me (since Oman is so ridiculously hot we just stay indoors for much of the year) that the altitude-induced cool breezes of Addis might fool me, which they had. I had severe sunburn.

Have you ever wandered the streets of a North African city, in and out of the stores… asking if they happen to sell sunscreen? Then have you attempted to explain (largely with gestures) what sunscreen is… then attempted to explain what sunburn is? This, as it turns out, is not easy.

It struck me then that I was literally having a white people’s problem. I chuckled to myself about this, which hurt my face a bit. I trudged back out of the hotel on a new mission.

The two young women at the corner grocery store didn’t speak English, but did their best to help me. Perhaps my gestures were not as concise as I’d hoped, because after some rapid deliberation they decided that what I required was dog shampoo. Free market economics is a funny thing. It mostly boils down to supply and demand. Apparently people like to keep their pets clean in Ethiopia as elsewhere, though as it turns out, sunburn is not a common ailment there, and sunscreen is something of a specialty item. This, I was about to reaslise however, was not going to be a problem.

I had noticed that something else wasn’t quite right… and this particular new situation was quickly deteriorating into something very fucking wrong. I made it back to my hotel room just in time to confirm that I did indeed have food poisoning.

Searching for an upside, I realised I wouldn’t have to worry about exacerbating my sunburn, as, for the next two days I ventured from my hotel bed only as far as the bathroom. I did make that journey around a hundred times though. At least I was keeping busy. There was also time to stare out the window at the parade of melanin-abundant, salmonella-free life passing by.

Ethiopian Wedding procession. Photo: Peninsularity Ensues
Ethiopian Wedding procession.
Photo: Peninsularity Ensues

I recovered of course, just in time to head to the airport for my flight home. I did still have an hour to spare though, in which to go and see “Lucy” (Australopithecus) the 3.2 million year old fossils of an upright-walking pre-human hominin famously discovered in Ethiopia in 1974. The taxi driver smiled and took me to the wrong museum. The grounds of the national university were quite nice though I guess, and there was now only time to collect my things and return to the airport. Of course I saw the correct museum from the next taxi… the one with the “Lucy” coffee shop… no time to stop.

Yep… not a spectacular success, this particular jaunt. Can’t win them all though, and as fails go, at least this fail was pretty epic, as they say. I did get a good vibe though from the Ethiopians. They are a friendly people and proud, not least for having never successfully been colonised, unlike the rest of Africa. It says a lot about the nation’s resilience. Yep, definitely a very interesting part of the world. I hope I have a chance to check it out sometime.

Leave a Reply

72 Comments on "So, I had a White People’s Problem in Africa"

Leave a Reply


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Logan
Guest
Logan
9 months 26 days ago

Great read as always, PE! Actually thinking of jaunting on down to AA soon…that is after a stop over in Oman. What are you up to next weekend? We have Thursday off for a three day holiday.

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

Yep been and should go back.

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

Who, you or me? haha… it’s often so difficult to tell whether people are being agreeable or otherwise these days!

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

Lol I’ve been and you are so right and not just in addis

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

Right you are Adam, hope I can take a more successful return trip soon. I just saw a few pics from colleagues that just returned… much better than mine. lol

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

If you have time and cash check out Africanridingadventures run by Flávio out of addis I had a tailored moto tour with him to the Bale mountains over 5 days awesome. Check out his testimonial page Iam even on it 👍

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

Lol this made me chuckle… I can identify with some parts lol… there is so much more to Ithiopia tho

Guest
9 months 17 days ago

Debbie, you put that very politely.

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

RADIO

Guest
9 months 26 days ago

I hear Nigeria is a much nicer place !

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

Lmfao Caucasians issues
You can’t handle the sun son

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

3000 ft, not meter above sea level..

Seye
Guest
Seye
9 months 25 days ago

Lol. Great piece…strangely, I get slightly sun burned when scuba diving. Not sure why esp as Im even more ‘melanin-abundant’ than the Ethiopians are. So I guess its not totally a white persons problem.

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

Dude was being cooked
Glad he got to see one of THE OLDEST HUEMANS WALKING UPRIGHT NOT ON ALL FOURS LIKE IN THE CAVES

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

Ra

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

Yes, sunburn is purely a white person’s problem. LOL

Guest
9 months 18 days ago

No its not

Guest
9 months 25 days ago

Hummm to sell sunscreen for 1.2 million per small container that would give captalist ideology a run for its money end the poverty buy or fry .I guess the sun is racist .

Guest
9 months 24 days ago

That’s what’s up..

Guest
9 months 24 days ago

Keeping it REAL

Guest
9 months 23 days ago

U mean to tell me u tried or got to see the Oldest human and its a woman….. Oh and shes from Ethiopia soooo u mean shes BLACK!!
Say its not so lol!#

Dont u wish u were melinated now lol!

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

Ha-ha

Guest
9 months 18 days ago
You are right ! I have a gorgeous dark skinned Jawn that I converse with in class. She is so sexyummy, but makes me laugh when she says she still feels like “she is still feels like a slave for being black” lol both her parents are rich lawyers from Berkeley. Her confusion is adorable. The other day she told me that I was “blessed” with for having white Irish skin. Lol yeah blessed with burnt skin and high chances of getting skin cancer. One of the reasons so many of my Irish people died while enslaved by the English… Read more »
Guest
9 months 18 days ago

Chica needs therapy. It’s not cute. ^ it’s really sad.

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Bs the white red haired giants were first, everyones culture speaks of them

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Keep learning you blm twit

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Wow, I’ve read some gibberish before, but… what on earth are you on about? haha

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Keep learning bud keep learning

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Cant add pics or id show u

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Adam is just trolling

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

hehe, no worries… just wondering where he was going, if anywhere 😉

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

No damn where lol
Rememebr Ignorance is bliss and hes blissful lol

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Go look it up do some research, i know it hard on your ego latoya but its true

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

The giants are even mentioned in the bible

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

I have heard stories from native americans moori africans etc

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Hindus are really big on it too

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

O and latoya there was other hominids here also which homo sapiens killed off

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

They invaded their lands took their women and killed their sons

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

For 1000’s of years they were captured killed enslaved raped etc

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

Finally after 1000’s of yrs of selective breading the gene pool was strong again and europe was born

Guest
9 months 2 days ago

They finally broke free from the og slave masters

Guest
9 months 23 days ago

Should have stayed at a hotel which would have immediately gotten the information or item for you. If you had been more willing to get help.

Guest
9 months 23 days ago

dirty neanderthals suck my big black dick

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

Raechelle Martin

Guest
9 months 18 days ago
Guest
9 months 18 days ago

Random smh

Guest
9 months 21 days ago

This was a good read. Sun burn’s not just a white ppl problem though. I do however thank God for melanin.

Guest
9 months 21 days ago

Wear a fuckin hat and sleeves ya fuckin pussy.

Guest
9 months 21 days ago

anti racist anti white pro2white guilt white niggers. fuck all of you who wrote this and decay in hell.

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

Hahaaaaa

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

Lmao I need some clarification

Guest
9 months 18 days ago

Lol. Foolishness

Guest
9 months 15 days ago

Thanks for dropping by Gunter… wait, what? lol

Guest
9 months 21 days ago

But if you’re black and not used to the sun wouldn’t you get a sunburn? White people who are constantly in the sun don’t burn either.

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

What Black person is not use to the sun?

Guest
9 months 20 days ago

I’ve gotten sunburn when a teenager and swimming all the time. I’m brown skinned, melanin rich. Also has a slight case in the Bahamas and started using sunscreen/suntan around 18. My light skinned girlfriend and I had sunburn in Nassau. It’s how much sun and what conditions you’re in which dictate how your skin handle it. We also get skin cancer.

Guest
9 months 19 days ago

If you do not get at least one hour a day of Sun. Your body will not get use to it. Thankfully I work outside. So I get my Sun daily

Guest
9 months 18 days ago

I’m biracial and I’ve never had a sunburn ever. I just get dark… my melanin is strong. My mom..who is Italian and Irish..burns like lobster. My daddy not at all….

Guest
9 months 16 days ago

Anyone can get sunburn, the darker your skin is, more resistant it is usually

remyilona
Guest
9 months 20 days ago

Unfortunately they were colonized, by fellow Ethiopians

Guest
9 months 18 days ago
Guest
9 months 18 days ago

Hope for the future as global warming progresses Christopher McGowens

Guest
9 months 17 days ago

Peninsularity Ensues: accurate description of realities in Eth.

Guest
9 months 17 days ago

White people are vampires

Guest
9 months 16 days ago

Thank goodness for global warming things will be back to Balance soon.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
1 month 13 days ago

Good read

wpDiscuz