How to Eat Free for a Year (and get arrested like a boss).

Recently a story went viral about an unnamed South African man who posed for a year as a KFC executive. This particular individual with titanium balls and confidence to spare strolled authoritatively into KFC restaurants for a whole year, performing random spot-checks for quality assurance purposes. After inspecting kitchens and making notes, he also demanded food, to check standards of quality and consistency. He had, reported KFC employees, been assigned this duty as part of his position at head office.

It had simply never occurred to anyone to ask whether he might instead just be, say… a local university student (which he was). After all, the man was well-known to KFC management and staff all over Durban, who were on best behaviour whenever the well-dressed exec marched in, often having stepped out of a limousine. Yep, it keeps getting better of course… one of this guy’s university mates had a part-time job driving a limousine.

Unfortunately, if not unsurprisingly, after 24 hours of virality, it appears (according to a statement from South African KFC headquarters) the the ‘chicken man’ story was fake.

…which gives only more value to this guy (and why I am I just finding out about him now??).

How to get Arrested like a Boss!

It is possible today to get your Warholian 15 minutes, or 24 hours of fame, even for something just made up… but it takes something truly special to become an immortal hero of the internet.

In the late ’80’s, before fake news, or the internet… such a man terrorised the 5-star restaurants of Sydney. Far from content with fast food, Paul Charles Dozsa had a somewhat more refined palate, and a wicked sense of the absurd. Finally in 1988, after his 54th court appearance as Sydney’s most infamous diner and dasher, he was arrested.

Fittingly, his back story was perhaps even more bizarre than the minute of video that would immortalise him decades later. Dozsa was not actually Australian. Born into Hungarian nobility he had emigrated to Australia in the ’60’s. He had been a chef (therefore knowledgeable of the restaurant industry) and also a chess grand-master (thereby not without considerable intelligence); well-spoken with the voice of a Shakespearian actor (used to wonderful effect).

It seems I’m the only person who doesn’t know of Dozsa, as apparently every Australian made the “succulent Chinese meal” joke when Julian Assange was finally forcibly removed from the Equadorian embassy in London.

But, for anyone still unfamiliar with his work, I give you…

RIP Baron Paul Charles Dozsa (1940-2003).

You sir, are a true legend.

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Baron Weeren
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Another colleague bites the dust.