Old People Shouldn’t Fuck: The Korea Times

Hey, I don’t make the news…

Too much sex not good for the old

The first almost-sentence of this brief Korea Times article warns that:

“With the proportion of citizens aged 65 and older having reached 11.8 percent and rising and this figure is expected to reach 37.4 percent by 2050”.

The newspaper has thankfully released “findings”, informing the nation’s senior citizens (and suddenly grossed-out teenagers previously unaware that humans over 40 have sex) “…that excessive sexual activities among the old is detrimental to their health and using medication to help vitalise such activities is even more dangerous”.

In a groundbreaking first, the Korea Times has provided a source for these new “findings”, which is the “Dongueibogam”, the ancient Korean medical bible that states, according to the KT, that “…the dissipation of any form of liquid from the body is bad for the health and this also applies to sperm”.

So be warned, my health-conscious friends. Don’t go to the bathroom anymore.

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Quick update: I’ve just learned from a friend (perhaps now former friend) who works for the Korea Times that previous stories I’ve mentioned, such as the Alien invasion from Planet Gootan, Kim Jong-un being named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ and this particular piece, are only run online and do not appear in the print editions. At least one KT staff member claims to be as surprised as anyone else when these stories appear online. Go clickbait!