Kuwait Unveils Revolutionary new Gaydar Technology

There are currently over 70 countries in which acts of homosexuality are a criminal offence (largely in Africa, the Middle East and southern Asia), including:

Afghanistan, Algeria, Angola, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belize, Bhutan, Brunei, Cameroon, Dominica, Egypt, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Gambia, Ghana, Guinea, Guyana, Iran, Jamaica, Kenya, Kuwait, Lebanon, Lesotho, Liberia, Libya, Malaysia, Maldives, Mauritius, Morocco, Mozambique, Myanmar, Namibia, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Seychelles, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Swaziland, Syria, Tanzania, Togo, Trinidad and Tobago, Tunisia, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Zambia and Zimbabwe.

…oh, and thirteen of the United States (Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina,  Texas, Utah and Virginia) still have laws on their books, regardless that anti-sodomy laws were ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003.

Anyway… in a gallant, groundbreaking and in no way ridiculous effort to eradicate from its territory the scourge of poofters threatening to infect the world with their godless, fabulous depravity, one country has bravely chosen to stand in defense of its few remaining breeders.

News of the long-awaited gaydar system was met with jubilance.
News of the long-awaited gaydar system was met with jubilance.

Yes, the exotic, progressive sovereign state of Kuwait recently announced, to the relief of everyone everywhere, that it has perfected its soon-to-be-patented gaydar technology, and proposes to employ said technology to detect homosexuals upon arrival at the nation’s airport.

In a brief press statement, Yousuf Mindkar, Director of Public Health at the Kuwaiti Health Ministry, explained that, “Health centres conduct the routine medical check to assess the health of the expatriates when they come into the GCC countries. However, we will take stricter measures that will help us detect gays who will be then barred from entering Kuwait or any of the GCC member states.”

The new technology is expected to comprise multi-stage testing procedures to out even the craftiest shirt lifters. First, a specially trained guy will ask suspiciously gay looking people a series of subtle questions, like, ‘Are you a fag?’

Following the intensive psychological screening process, those still suspected of gayness will be subjected to a non-invasive physical examination.Kuwait perfects gaydar technology

The proposal will be finalised when the gaydar task force reconvenes in Kuwait City on November 11.



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