Conversations with Online Scam Artists: The Nigerian Scam

Recently I’ve been engaging with online con artists. It occurs to me that these ridiculous scams, such as the ‘Nigerian 419′ scam must actually still work on enough people around the world to keep so many industrious young Africans and others (not only Nigerians) toiling away, flooding others’ inboxes with billions of emails each year. I mean, everybody knows about this scam (the one where a complete stranger contacts you with a very reasonable offer of millions of dollars… because only you, for some reason, can help this person retrieve their fabulous wealth). Seems stupid, right? …because it IS stupid! Logically though, if it didn’t still work, the scammers would have given up by now and found something else to do.

This scam (named after the section of the Nigerian criminal code dealing with fraud)  isn’t new however, and actually predates email by… well, centuries. It’s a variation of something called the ‘Spanish Prisoner‘ con, which originated in the 16th Century.

The modern incarnation of this scam targets greedy stupid people, who are easily identified by the perpetrators (because they engage with them). The reason I call these people greedy and stupid, as opposed to, say, lonely and/or otherwise vulnerable people who fall for far more sophisticated scams each year, is because the 419 scam is almost always immediately transparent and really fucking dumb.

For those who think it’s perfectly reasonable that a stranger might contact them with an offer of millions of dollars… here are a couple of clues to help innocent simpletons understand that it might be definitely is a scam.

First, the sender won’t address you by name, obviously because this form letter has been sent simultaneously to 400,000,000 accounts. We’ll get to the other subtle blatant hints that this too-good-to-be-true offer is indeed complete bullshit shortly.

Here’s a typical introductory 419 email I received recently.

My Dear Good Evening, How are you today? Mine is a little cold here in Dakar Senegal. My name is Sonia Majid, i am 24 years old and 5in8ft tall, 58kg weight. single and never married, I am the only daughter of my Father DR. Rakin Majid, I’m from Sudan, North Africa and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a result of civil war was fought in my country some years ago. My late father DR. Rakin Majid was the director of ( Majid Industrial Company Ltd ) in Khartoum, the capital of my country, and he was also the personal adviser to our former head of state before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed him with my mother in cold blood. I escaped death because I was in school when the rebels attacked our house and I could make my way to the west African country Senegal where i am now living as a refugee. I would like to know more about you. your likes and your dislikes, your hobbies and what you are doing currently. I’ll tell you more about myself in my next mail. Attached here is my picture. Waiting to hear from you soon.

My compliments,
Miss Sonia.

 

Ok… so, just a couple of things about this poor woman’s terrible plight, and her heartfelt email requesting my assistance. She opens with a description of her height and weight (yep, fair enough), before mentioning that she’s living in a Senegalese refugee camp. Her late father, killed along with her mother in cold blood by rebels, had been rich, successful, and an advisor to his country’s head of state (it’s disturbing how often this seems to happen to powerful, influential people in Sudan). Luckily, Sonia avoided the terrible fate of her parents, as she was at school at the time of the attack. Sensibly, instead of seeking shelter and protection from her late father’s undoubtedly well-connected peers, Sonia made the trek from her home in Khartoum, through Chad, Nigeria, Niger, Burkina Faso and Mali, before finally reaching the safety of the refugee camp in Dakar, Senegal, 5359 kilometers away (?!).

So far, so good. After bravely telling of her traumatic life story, Sonia cheerfully asks about my hobbies, likes and dislikes (yep, that sounds about right), before saying she’ll reveal more about herself in her next email. Oh, and of course, she provides a couple of photos.

After reading such an unfortunate, and really plausible story, what could I do? Of course, I emailed back the person known only as Sonia immediately. I wondered if the individual receiving my email would even read its content, so I decided to give the scammer a sporting chance, and find out for sure.

Here is my reply.

Let me tell you about myself. I live in Oman, but I’m Australian, and my ancestors came from the Transylvania region of Northern Romania, so of course I do have an insatiable thirst for human blood. I don’t find that this negatively affects my professional or personal life in any serious way, so there is no need to worry. Oh, I also enjoy travelling and stamp collecting.

I’m interested in having a relationship, and I strongly believe that the best way to make that happen is by committing myself to a random online stranger, so I am really pleased to have received your message!! As you are no doubt aware, having read my profile, I am already married. That shouldn’t be an issue however my love, because I live in the middle east where polygamy is kinda the done thing. I’m sure you’ll get along really well with my wife. She gets a bit stabby sometimes, but everything will be fine as long as you don’t make eye contact.