K-pop Idols Survive Terrifying Attack in Mexico City

South Korea’s plethora of boy bands have long been admired for their superior musicianship and artistic diversity, and the roughly 17,000 members of these globally renowned super-groups are legendary for their hard-living rock star lifestyles and infamously wild behaviour.

Things became just a little too intense last week in Mexico City however when fans at a K-pop concert got out of hand, forcing the show to be temporarily stopped.

‘Officials had to halt the performance and warn fans not to throw underwear’, reported the Korea Times yesterday for some reason.

Such crowd behaviour, while clearly distressing, did not prevent the Korean superstars from bravely continuing however, providing yet another example of their world-class professionalism and courage.

‘At first I was embarrassed,’ said an Exo-K member speaking with the Korea Times, but he didn’t say why that was exactly.

B.A.P. (an inexplicable acronym for Best Absolute Perfect), a six-piece Korean hip-hop group were also performing the Mexico City Gig. B.A.P have been described as being different from most Korean boy bands, and having ‘…a tough, bad boy image, smashing car windows, kicking up dirt and, you know, doing as boys do‘.

One B.A.P member, also speaking with the Korea Times about the underwear incident, sent shock waves through the traditionally conservative global hip-hop community, saying (in what has just now been described as the most bad-ass media quote of the century), ‘Some fans were overexcited, but I could see other responsible fans linking their arms to form a human barricade’.

It is testament to the bravery of those responsible K-pop fans who risked their own lives to protect those of their idols.

‘We knew it was a dangerous situation, but we had to finish the performance for our loyal fans,’ said some guy perhaps, heroically acknowledging that he or one of his fellow performers may have been killed by the airborn panties, if they had for example been wrapped around a brick. At time of press, nobody has mentioned anything about any bricks.

Sir Tom Jones, a 74 year-old Welshman and survivor of countless underwear attacks was quoted as saying ‘What a bunch of pussies’, according to sources apparently.