Kim Kardashian and the Saudi Prince

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia proudly embraces and cherishes wholesome family values. It promotes equality for all, with the understanding that equality is relative and that half of the population is weak, feeble minded and makes men kinda rapey… so that particular half should be protected for its own good. Other minority groups also share in the equality of this Utopian wonderland, but only as much of it as they deserve of course.

The system works well for all concerned… those that matter, at least. Some Saudis quietly shoulder the burden of having a bit too much equality, and regularly contribute to making Saudi Arabia (and the world) a better place by way of philanthropy.

Such selfless behaviour was exhibited again this week by a young, unnamed Saudi prince, who is obscenely wealthy on account of the impressive, important things he has achieved in his short life (such as being born a Saudi prince). Rather than simply enjoying his vast wealth however, the prince has reportedly decided to share his riches with those less fortunate then himself.

It is a difficult task selecting which people to help, especially when the cross section of people less fortunate than yourself comprises almost everyone on Earth, but this week the prince recently decided after much deliberation to enrich the life of a young American woman. In the interest of fairness and equality, it is believed the lucky young woman was selected randomly by the prince, and has been reportedly offered a “million dollars a night“.

Ms Kardashian was reported to have accepted the prince’s kind offer of a million dollars to “party” with him for a night, sometime early in 2015. Her husband, humble genius Kanye West, was apparently thrilled at his wife’s good fortune.

Some more cynical observers have suggested that there is a name for this sort of thing, whereas others have pointed out that sex outside wedlock is illegal in Saudi Arabia, as is alcohol… proving that the “party” to which Ms Kardashian will be paid one million dollars to attend will be a very quiet, wholesome affair, and that the prince is only interested in the young woman’s mind and general wellbeing.